Returning
Thanks
Twelve ways to cultivate a thankful heart
Paul Thigpen
© 1997 by Paul Thigpen
Each one of the ten had a tale of personal horror to tell, but
the stories were all the same.
The nightmare had crept slowly across their bodies: white patches,
lumps in the skin. Then the numbness had crawled up their limbs,
stealing the strength from muscles and the feeling from fingers
and toes. Finally, the faces had grown disfigured beyond recognition;
the hands had stiffened into claws, and all that remained of the
feet were crippled nubs.
Worst of all were the jeers from the children whenever the men passed
too near a village. "Lepers!" they screamed, spitting
the word like a curse. "Come too close, and we'll stone your
ugly faces!"
So long ago these ten had been young and handsome, healthy and well-to-do,
full of desires and dreams. But that seemed like another world,
another lifetime. Now they were the walking dead.
One morning, as they approached yet another village to beg, they
heard the children shouting once more. But this time there were
no jeers. Instead the crowds were cheering the name that for months
had spread like a whispered wildfire through the leper colony: Jesus.
The leper-healer from Nazareth stood by the village well, not far
from the twisted outcasts. And he was looking their way.
All at once ten hoarse voices erupted in unison: "Jesus! Master!
Have pity on us!"
He smiled -- the first smile turned in their direction for many
years -- and said simply, "Go show yourselves to the priests."
He hadn't come close, hadn't even touched them. The ten examined
one another.. Clearly, nothing had changed. Were they once again
the butt of a cruel joke?
One of them, a Samaritan, turned back to the road, set his face
toward Jerusalem and the temple, and motioned for his comrades to
join him. "If the priests throw me out," he said, "then
let the crowds stone me. What's left to live for?"
He hobbled down the dusty path, his crutch making holes in the scorched
clay. And as the others followed, less in faith than in desperation,
the miracle came. They were cleansed. Suddenly. Totally. Unconditionally.
Nine men shouted and raced down the road like boys in a game, peeling
off their rags to welcome the sunshine on their now childlike skin.
They never even looked back, never saw again the Face whose light
had dawned on their darkness and ended their nightmare. But one
man -- the Samaritan -- spun around, ran to Jesus, flung himself
at His feet. Tears spilled down cleansed cheeks. He looked up, trembling,
and whispered two words.
"Thank you."
Foundation for Holiness
I tremble just to read the gospel account of the ten cleansed lepers.
I shudder at the terrible suffering they must have endured and thrill
to the glorious joy they must have felt when Jesus turned their
world upside down.
But I also tremble when I ask myself the obvious question: If I
had been among those ten men healed that day, would I have run away
with the nine, or bowed down with the one? Would I have rushed off
to enjoy the gift, or stopped to thank the Giver? In short: Would
Jesus have found in me a grateful heart?
The question sobers me because I know that a continual attitude
of gratitude is one sure sign of a soul crucified to pride and selfishness.
The thankful heart is foundational for a holy life. In a sense,
we could define prayer itself, as St. Therese of Lisieux once did,
as "a cry of grateful love" launching out to God.
To be grateful, after all, is to see God, the world, and ourselves
aright -- to recognize that all of life is a gracious gift from
His hand. We are all God's debtors. Without the chastening perspective
of that reality, all the other virtues are skewed.
I tremble as well to remember that ingratitude is a clear indicator
of the heart turned in on itself -- of the proud, restless ego that
is never satisfied, that believes the world owes it whatever it
can get. Whether complaining that the gift is not good enough, or
too absorbed in the gift to say thanks, the ingrate spurns the Giver
in favor of self.
Does that seem too severe a judgment? We need only look at the terrible
fruits of ingratitude to find that it's not. When the Apostle Paul
examined some of the most tragic depravities of the world in his
letter to the Romans, he found a thankless heart at the root: "For
although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave
thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish
hearts were darkened" (Romans 1:21, emphasis added).
Those who refuse to thank God for how He has made them and what
He has given them walk in darkness, not able to see the light of
reality. They've exchanged the truth about His grace for the lie
of self-absorption. The result, says St. Paul, is envy, greed, murder,
deceit, sexual perversion, slander, rebellion, and more (Romans
1:22-31).
Disciplines of the Grateful Heart
No doubt most of us have moments when our hearts spring up with
thanks for God's goodness. But at times we may also find ourselves
in wintry spiritual seasons when our sense of gratitude freezes
over.
When a frost seems to settle on my heart, I've learned, gratefulness
is a habit to be cultivated, a labor of the soul that seeks God.
As with the other virtues, we can't employ a mechanical technique
to make us thankful. But we can recognize that the movements of
the heart are most often responses to what the eyes of the heart
perceive.
In many ways, then, gratitude is a matter of vision. We can learn
to direct our attention to those things that draw us to God in appreciation
for who He is and what He has done. In that regard, here are a dozen
insights I've discovered along the way:
1. Give thanks as a holy discipline independent of feelings. True
gratitude involves the heart as well as the lips. But sometimes
when our hearts are cold our words can be sparks that kindle us
again.
In any case, our lack of feeling does nothing to change the reality,
as the old church liturgy says, that "it is right to give Him
thanks." We owe God our expression of gratitude. That's why
the Scripture repeatedly commands us to thank Him (Psalm 136; Ephes.
5:19-20; Col. 3:17). Once we realize that thanksgiving is not a
polite courtesy but an urgent duty, we move beyond a slavish dependence
on the way we feel moment by moment.
2. Give thanks for the small and ordinary things. Someone
once said the only thing necessary to make us unappreciative of
a blessing from God is that we should receive the blessing often
and regularly. With blessings, as with relationships, familiarity
often breeds contempt.
We should keep in mind how the world would have seemed to that grateful
leper Jesus cleansed. Ever after that miracle, he must have given
thanks for twenty full fingers and toes, for the power just to run
and leap again, for the smiles of children who once would have fled
him in horror.
3. Look for the hidden blessings. St. Paul told the
Colossians to be "watchful and thankful" (Col. 4:2). Often
we must keep ourselves alert to the graces God gives subtly or indirectly.
Sometimes we grumble that the gifts we have are different from the
gifts we would have chosen for ourselves. Think about how often,
for example, we hear people complain about their physical appearance
or other natural endowments, wishing they were prettier or stronger
or smarter. Sometimes we fail to realize that not every gift we
seek would be to our benefit. For some, beauty leads to vanity,
physical strength to belligerence, and intelligence to pride.
4. Thank God especially in the midst of adversity. God
doesn't ask us to be thankful for the sorrows that come our way,
but He does want us to demonstrate trust in His care by thanking
Him in spite of them. The Apostle Paul said, "Give thanks in
all circumstances," not for all circumstances (1 Thes. 5:18,
emphasis added). St. Paul modeled that kind of gratitude himself:
While he sat in chains in prison, he gave thanks for God's goodness
and encouraged his friends not to complain (Phil. 1:3; Phil. 2:14).
5. Turn your attention from your problems to God's priorities in
your life. We may have to take a step back to see the big
picture if we want to be grateful for what God is accomplishing
in us.
Jesus gave the Father thanks for His last meal just hours before
the horrible death He knew was waiting (Matthew 26:26). How could
He be grateful for such a seemingly small thing when He was about
to endure such suffering? Jesus could be grateful because He saw
the bigger picture of God's plan -- that "the Father had put
all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was
returning to God" (John 13:3). Because of that perspective,
Jesus could give thanks for a Last Supper that would establish the
glorious new covenant He had come to make possible.
6. Give your attention and care to those whose lives make
your particular blessings stand out by comparison. Have
you been grumbling that you can't afford a new couch for the living
room? Go serve in a soup kitchen for the homeless. Have you found
it hard to thank God for your boss? Talk a few minutes with the
folks in the unemployment line. Do you complain about minor aches
and pains? Pray for someone with a terminal illness. Your gratitude
to God is sure to grow.
7. Set aside time daily to express thanks to God.
In ancient Israel, a daily habit of thanksgiving was so important
to the life of the nation that the Levites were officially appointed
to stand in the temple every morning and evening to thank God (1
Chron. 23:30). In a more private context and a later generation,
we find Daniel kneeling to thank God three times a day (Daniel 6:10).
In our home, as a way of cultivating an "attitude of gratitude,"
we've established a family bedtime tradition. Just before we pray
together and tuck the kids in, each family member has to say one
thing that happened that day for which he or she is grateful. Sometimes
this little discipline is difficult, especially if someone has had
a trying day. But even then, as my wife recently sighed one evening,
we can thank the Lord that the day is over!
8. Thank God publicly and corporately. When we join
with other believers, we can encourage one another with our accounts
of God's goodness and faithfulness, and we see blessings in our
own lives we might otherwise have overlooked.
King David knew this reality. He said to God, "I will give
you thanks in the great assembly; among throngs of people"
(Psalm 35:18, emphasis added). And when Jesus thanked the Father
for hearing his prayer to raise Lazarus, He said the words aloud
for the benefit of those around Him (John 11:41-42).
9. Try a voluntary fast from something you take for granted.
As familiarity breeds contempt, so absence makes the heart
grow fonder. Give up eating for a day, and those few words of thanks
before your next meal will take on a whole new meaning. Run your
errands on foot for an afternoon, and you'll be grateful for your
car. Or spend some time on your next business trip looking at the
pictures in your wallet or purse and thanking God for the family
members and friends you miss having around.
10. Keep a record of God's faithfulness to you. "Count
your blessings," as the old song says; try listing them in
a regular journal that you review periodically. One family I know
keeps a "Thank-You Book," complete with pictures, dedicated
exclusively to recording answers to prayer and other blessings from
the Lord.
11. Show gratitude toward others as well as God. Make
it a point to tell family and friends how grateful you are for their
kindness. Stock up on thank-you notes and use them generously, even
for small favors. Thank the folks involved in your daily affairs:
the bus driver, the office janitor, the grocery store clerk. The
more you appreciate all these people, the more you'll appreciate
the One who put them in your life.
12. Give generously to those in need. Giving can be
a concrete expression of gratitude to God that imitates His own
graciousness, and it leads others to thank Him as well. St. Paul
told the Corinthians that such generosity "is not only supplying
the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions
of thanks to God" (2 Cor. 9:12).
In all these ways, we learn to turn our attention outward toward
God and others so we can see our lives for what they truly are:
an inestimable gift of divine grace.
If we cultivate the discipline of gratitude, we can overcome the
temptation to turn our backs on the Lord in self-absorption as the
nine lepers did. Instead, like that healed Samaritan, we'll be sure
to run toward the Lord, fall at His feet, and whisper often the
words He delights to hear:
"Thank you."
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